Humpty Dumpty

For a variety of reasons I’ve been thinking about Humpty Dumpty this week. He makes an interesting case study. What strikes me most is his sense of omnipotence. He knows he is an egg. He must know that eggs and walls do not go well together-no matter how one defines  “egg” and “wall” and “risk”. There is a refusal to accept his vulnerability-which, we assume, is why he is found sitting on top of a wall. Because his fantasy is that he is unbreakable. This belief almost has the power of a psychotic delusion which is usually defensive. I have lost count of the number of patients who believe themselves to be Jesus and to have special powers. (As one begins to unpick this idea it becomes apparent that the underlying belief is just the opposite. That they are of no worth to anyone. So in response to this depressing thought, they evolve the fantasy of being messaianically important.And who is to blame them?)

If we were looking at Humpty Dumpty clinically we might diagnose an underlying depression. Or at the least feelings of low self worth. It is an interesting phenomena that I have seen many women who have ben abused as children repeat that pattern in adulthood. They manage to seek out men who will continue that abuse-albeit not physically. This serves to confirm an unconscious belief in their own worthlessness. Is this part of Humpty’s grandiosity? That he fundamentally lacks any sense of self worth? The famous exchange between him and Alice in “Through the looking Glass” gives a sense of his thinking.

” ‘When I use a word” Humpty Dumpty  said in a rather scornful tone ‘it means just what I choose it to mean- neither more nor less.’ ” How much more grandiose can one get? To believe that the only meaning of a word is what I choose to give it at any moment. Centuries of meaning are thrown away and Humpty rules supreme. (How dreadfully humiliating to have to abide by someone else’s definition of something. Like “egg” and “vulnerable”!)

Given this omnipotence is was only going to be a matter of time before Humpty had a  great fall. There could be no other outcome that allowed him to keep his integrity. He could hardly go back to the hen-coop and regale his fellow eggs with his adventures. Nor was he going to become a successful egg in the human world.Sadly he felt that he belonged nowhere- which opens up the possibly of a differential diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The tragedy of his great fall is akin to a successful suicide.  It is a pyrrhic victory. Suicide proves my omnipotence. “None of you could help me. In the end the only person I could count on was me.”

As a final thought here is Geisha performing her interpretation of Humpty Dumpty. Enjoy, as they say!

Depression 1

This week I want to finish off the trilogy of Anxiety, Anger and Depression. (They are all part of the same family tree of emotions coming of the central trunk of fear of being annihilated.) Firstly, however, it will be helpful to define some terms.  The image on the left is of a mother breast feeding her baby. In psychoanalytic language the breast is known as an object and forms a central tenet in analytic thinking and writing. This gives rise to what is known as objects relations theory. The idea being that the mother’s breast stands for the whole process of nurturing, being fed, being cared about. The baby’s experience of the breast will include the smell of its mother, an awareness of her feelings, a sense of being the centre of the universe- albeit briefly! All these feelings are encapsulated in the word “object”. The theory goes on to suggest that this external breast- object- morphs into an inner representation. Thus the experience of being nurtured in real life is taken in by the infant as an inner experience. So the infant of an anxious mother will acquire a sense that the world is not a safe place. That he or she is also unsafe- that at any moment a disaster will occur which will overwhelm them. A child of a depressed mother may well acquire a sense of low self worth due, in part, to a mother who was too preoccupied with her own concerns to care about her baby.As the baby grows up it will find that it makes choices that seem to confirm their view of themselves.This can be expressed in all manner of ways .At the extreme end is suicidal depression running through to  paranoia and Manic depression. These are linked to the inner world and the individual’s relationships with its internalised objects.

Some examples:

Mike who finds it very difficult to hear anyone who does not agree with his view of things. (The fear being that everyone is intent on stopping him pursuing his dream career.)

Jane who cannot allow herself to be angry for fear that everyone will reject her if she shows he true feelings about something or someone.

Marie who is a compulsive carer who has to rescue anything or anyone in distress. Less from compassion and more from a complex mix of fear of her own anger and a terror of being unloveable.

In all these cases their actions and activity comes out of a difficult inner world. Their relationship with their inner objects is conflicted.  This makes the activity of living a  difficult one.

In part 2 of this blog I will focus on depression and one way of thinking about it.